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2011: The year of living dangerously… again

on December 30, 2010

I’ll do it my way… a user’s perspective

Thou shalt not… says the IT department! Another commandment, policy or order.  Really, don’t people in IT have anything better to do than impose, impose and impose? New Year resolutions… seen through the eyes of an end-user.

  1. I shall… continue to ignore the security policies and do my utmost to bypass them. They are just a waste of time. How can I be expected to do my job properly with so many restrictions in place? It’s my computer (I do spend eight hours every day using it) and I’ll do as I please.
  2. I shall… continue to use a password that I can remember and not some complicated and lengthy password that doesn’t make sense. What’s easier than my date of birth or the name of the one that I love? What’s the fuss: who knows my birthday or my mother’s maiden surname, anyway?
  3. I shall… make use of post it notes stuck to my monitor or laptop to remind me what my passwords are just in case a complex password is imposed by IT – and to show them that I AM adhering to their security policies.
  4. I shall… browse to my heart’s content when I am at work. How else can I keep tabs on what my friends on Facebook are doing, the latest news from the world of fashion, sports, motoring and cooking? There’s nothing wrong with taking a 15 minute break every so often… isn’t that what HR recommends for those of us obliged to stare at a screen all day?
  5. I shall… make the most of our company’s bandwidth and download music and movies from the Internet. There are some great sites out there and I always manage to find the latest releases well in advance. We’re told to be careful what we download but I really don’t understand why it’s such a big issue.
  6. I shall… copy any documents that I need to work on to my USB memory stick and back them up on my smart phone. There’s no risk anyway. Who is going to read them anyway? It’s not that I lose stuff that easily, leave it in the pub or on the back seat of a taxi. And forget encryption. What am I going to do if I forget the ultra long password? Throw it away?
  7. I shall… keep a copy of every document that I work on and a few others that may come in handy should I be made an honorable ex-employee. The company’s not doing too well from what I can see, so a few key documents will do me good if I need to look for a new job. Those customer lists are worth their weight in gold. No one will ever notice.
  8. I shall… treat every email as important, especially those that offer some free software or copies of the latest movies for downloaded. I’m not bothered with those Nigerian scams but there are some really cool news sites that send me links via email. Nothing ever happened although I’ve noticed a few odd pops every now and then (not for fainthearted, I must add). Who cares… no one checks my machine!
  9. I shall… help the IT helpdesk whenever they call me when something goes wrong. They’re always calling to check my username and password. Hopefully, they’ll stop calling me at home in 2011… how do they know that my home machine may be compromised by malware?
  10. I shall… do my utmost to adhere to the above resolutions.

About the Author:

David Kelleher is Director of Public Relations at GFI Software. With over 20 years’ experience in media and communications, he has written extensively for business and tech publications and is an editor and regular contributor to Talk Tech to Me.

Gwen C. January 1, 201111:35 pm

I think it’s about time I finish finalizing my own list of New Year’s Resolutions. But you know what’s at the top of my New Year’s Resolutions? To try and stop checking the GFI blog so often to get some actual work done!

But in all seriousness, thanks for the great year of service and support GFI. Here’s to another, better year for all the GFI staff and crew. Happy New Year!

Audrey January 1, 201111:43 pm

Happy New Year GFI! Just wanted to thank you and the rest of the GFI team for a great year; especially for all the dedication and hard work on this blog and your other services! And for all you tech heads and GFI readers out there, a happy 2011 to all of you too!

…As for the rest of you, I’ll see you guys back at the office in a couple of days :P.

Dewayne Vickers January 1, 201111:51 pm

Genius of a post! “I shall” …now print, photocopy, tack and sticky this article to every cork board, company forum and internal newsletter directly or indirectly related to our company’s IT department. If anyone flag’s this as spam, I’m going to make sure this thing is couriered to them personally.

…But hopefully, everyone else at the office gets that this article is sarcastic. We’ll be in a whole lot of trouble if they don’t.

mary t. davis January 1, 201111:57 pm

Was just finishing up some work at the office before signing off for the year when I decided to head on to the GFI blog. This post made my day! Got a real big chuckle out of me and the rest of the dept when I started forwarding this around!

It’s the dumps in the IT department sometimes, but you can count on GFI to remind us to still have a sense of humor about it! Happy New Year everyone!

Larry January 2, 201112:01 am

You forget that… I shall blame the IT department for everything that may possibly go wrong with my computer; even if I’m the only person that uses it. Everyone knows it couldn’t possibly be my fault that the hard drive crashed, especially with all the unknown and unfiltered junk I put on it!

Despite being the sole user of my workstation, I take no responsibility for my actions or the consequences it may have on my computer.

emil hardy January 2, 201112:10 am

“I shall… make use of post it notes stuck to my monitor or laptop to remind me what my passwords are just in case a complex password is imposed by IT – and to show them that I AM adhering to their security policies.”

This one is my personal favorite, and the sad part is, I swear I saw this actually happen. You guys won’t believe the things I see in my office.

Ray January 2, 201112:17 am

I nearly cried my eyes out laughing when I read this. Unfortunately, I decided to nerd out and print this out for my wife, but the point was completely lost on her. She even thought I was subtlety trying to tell her how bad she was at using a computer! (Although she isn’t the sharpest IT tool in the shed, if you know what I mean).

But here’s to inside jokes for the IT department!

Pamela January 2, 201112:30 am

Awww c’mon guys, I think it’s time to man (or woman) up and just outrightly admit that we’re all (at least at one time or another) guilty of number 5. If you’ve got at least a T1 connection at the office, who wouldn’t want a piece of that bandwidth pie?

It was the season finale of Lost this year. Don’t tell me you weren’t on the heels of catching up with old episodes!

james feliciano January 2, 20117:03 pm

In reference to number six, do you know what’s worse than leaving confidential company information on your smart phone? It’s if your smart phone “is” the confidential company information. Flashback to earlier this year when an Apple employee decided to leave a prototype of the Iphone 4 at a local pub. A case of staff irresponsibility, or superb marketing? You decide (although the sales numbers seem to lean towards the latter).

whatsupman27 February 24, 201110:03 am

Oh, he was just being irresponsible.

Happy new year GFI! I have been checking this blog out for quite some time, yet I never got the chance to say something out here.

Anyway, just to join the fun, I shall probably start a spamming game with these IT professionals. I’ll use a public machine for that. Let’s see if they’re really smart enough to know who’s doing it.

Elden M. January 2, 20117:09 pm

Well, we can’t be too hard on the mistakes of end-users. If they all learned from their mistakes and did what we told them, what would we talk about during cocktail hour after work?

I have to admit that me and a few co-workers have spent many a good evening wasting it on entertain stories about silly end-user follies: this particular New Year including.

Which reminds me, Happy New Year everyone!

Ora Bullock January 2, 20117:17 pm

I swear, if I had a dime for every time number 9 happened to me, I’d have enough dimes saved up to start my own IT company complete with its own staff of wayward end-users.

When you’re asking for help from someone, please don’t expect them to have the answer magically with them every time you need it. Help them out for a change, so they can also help you.

David Kelleher January 10, 20113:45 pm

Happy New Year to everyone and thanks for your comments.